I love to watch people. I can never drive past someone walking down the street without taking a peak. I like to wonder what there lives are about. Where are they going, where have they been. I wonder if the tall skinny man that I see several times a week walking with a drug mart bag who has a severe limp and deformed hand was born that way or was there some sort of accident. Is he bitter? Is is ever appropriate to ask? Probably not. I often feel sad for him. Not so much because of his abnormalities but because he always looks sad. I wonder why he looks so sad. Maybe he misses life as it once was or maybe he dreams of what life could have been. I am sad now just to wonder about it.

I wonder about the lady who wears the crazy glitter makeup and lines her lips, as well as most of the surrounding area, with a shade of red that is never truly appropriate for anyone who doesn't want to be noticed. She often acts as though she wants to be invisible, but she never presents herself in such a way. She wears her hair, or wig, I do believe it is a wig, piled high on her head and its always adorned with some type of bow or barrette that would be far better suited for a small child. I wonder why she would go to the local bar, order several beers, open one to drink now and stuff the rest in her over sized purse to drink later in the lady's bathroom. I wonder why she sometimes will speak and other times acts as if she is unable to speak and just stares. Is she able? I do not feel sad for her. Actually, she frightens me a bit. She seems to be the type who may go "postal" one day. But I do enjoy watching her, I really do. But I prefer her when she is in a non-speaking mood.

I wonder about the man who is young and handsome that walks past my house everyday to get his beer. The ambulance is called a few times a year because he often tries to commit suicide. Why would he do that? Is he just so drunk that he does not know any better? Is his life that bad and maybe that is why he is drunk all the time? He has children that he doesn't care for. That makes me sad. But from what I understand, he himself was not properly cared for as a child. That too, saddens me. Probably, I could get more answers about the handsome drunk neighbor, but then, what would I have to wonder about? And what would be the fun in that?

Some New Things, YAY!!!

A while back I promised to make myself a priority. When I made that declaration, I had no idea how difficult it would be. I mean seriously, why is it so hard to take care of yourself? Why is it so hard to take some time to do something nice for yourself? Since when did we (women) get so caught up in everyday life that we tend to forget we are actually a part of that life we strive so hard to not allow to crumble? I have a theory...motherhood.

So, obviously, I've had a difficult time since my little man arrived (nearly 14 months ago) making time for me. Because for some reason, I just wasn't as important anymore. Then I woke up. If I can't take care of me then I can't take care of my family. And so here we are. I'm trying a couple of new things and reverting to some old in order to but some balance in my life.

Priority one, get in shape. After I had Micah and things settled down a bit, I was able to focus on shedding those extra baby pounds. At first I did a pretty good job. And then something happened. Life happened; we all got sick and I of course had to be the "nurse". My exercise routine went out the window and my eating habits flew out right behind. I gained back the 15 pounds I'd worked so hard to get rid of and never really resumed my healthful ways. But I'm ready. So I've started doing Zumba. It is such a blast!!! I have never had so much fun working out. I look forward to going to the gym and some days actually wish it would last just a bit longer. Plus, it gets me out of the house. ALONE. And to top it all off, I lost 6 pounds after going just 3 times in one week. Yay!!!

Priority two, hmmm...I don't remember. Can I be honest? I've been trying to get this post up for about 3 days now. I have no idea what I was going to say which tells me that I need to re-evaluate my priorities. LOL! But I have still been making it a point to read. And I'm sorry to report (Nance) that I really don't have the time to dive into anything that is going to require tons of brain power. I have to take baby steps as my baby is running me ragged. I am thoroughly enjoying reading mindless vampire novels, for now. I have moved on to the Sookie Stackouse collection. Give me time, Nance. Give me time.

Confessional Is Open

Sometimes you just have to air some things out. I can totally understand why Catholics go to confession, free therapy. Maybe I need to think about converting to Catholicism...hmmm. Yeah, probably not. Anyway...

Confession #1
I really do not give a damn that our country uses torture to extract information from brainwashed psychopaths whose only goal in life is to kill Americans. If this keeps crazies from flying planes into buildings, I'm all for it.

Confession #2
I have a twitter account. I know, I know. But I don't use it to "tweet" about myself. I recently opened the account so I could follow Dr. Sanjay Gupta (don't you love him!??!) when he was discussing the Swine Flu.

**By the way, are we over that one already, the Swine Flu? Or have I just not been keeping up with the news, again?

Confession #3
I have been reading like crazy lately. It's been Fantabulous!!!! First I read the House of Night series. Its about vampires. Now I'm reading the Twilight series, also about Vampires. I have been completely immersed in vampires that I'm dreaming about flippin' vampires. I'm even starting to wonder if they truly exist. I mean, don't most stories/legends have truth behind them? How cool would that be? Ok. Maybe not so cool. But nevertheless, I'm obsessed.

Confession#4
I want to get rid of my dogs. Really. At least Scooter, the big dog. I do still adore Scrappy Doo but not as much as I used to, just as I feared would happen before my sweet Micah was born. These days I see the dogs mostly as a nuisance who screw up my back yard. I just found out that our local APL is a no kill shelter so I would only feel guilty for a couple of days about dropping Scooter off. He's beautiful. He's a pure breed that some people would pay some serious money for. I don't think it would take very long for someone to snag him up.

Confession #5
Sometimes Micah and I watch a show called Hip Hop Harry. Some days, I think I like it more than he does.

That is all for now. Feel free to step into my confessional booth/comment box.

Did You Seriously Just Do That?

My husband is one of the most intelligent people that I know. He's always on the top of my list when I have a question about something. But he recently had a day where he must have left a pretty substantial amount of brain cells on his pillow when he woke up in the morning. It was just one thing after another. All Day! I shall share with you one episode of Jason's blond day.

* *no offence intended to any blonds who may be reading...it's just a saying :)

We bought a new grill. Jason has been eyeing this grill for years. He oogles over it when he sees someone using it on tv. He can even spot it the background of a scene being used as a prop, it's quite sad really. He's always waiting for it to go on sale but that pretty much never happens. Until a few weeks ago. So naturally he ran right out to buy it. Now mind you, this is a charcoal grill. Because that is the only type of REAL grill. According to Jason, gas grills are cop outs and nothing more than an outside stove and lack that "grill" flavor. However, this particular grill does have a gas ignition to light the charcoal so therefore requires a propane tank.

Moving on. The grill was purchased, assembled and placed on the patio. He even went and got the propane tank (which he was happy to report that he got at an excellent price at Sam's Club)and we're ready to go! The following day it's time to put this baby to the test. We're going to grill up some steaks and corn on the cob. Sounds good, right? We're ready!!

Now, let it be stated that I do the majority of the cooking here. Even when we're cooking out, unless there are ribs on the grill, that's Jason's thing. And as much as I want to go cook on this shiny new grill, I know that I have to let the man be the man and try out his new toy first, so I wait patiently inside peeking out through the kitchen windows every once in a while to see how things are coming along.

Naturally there is a problem. Isn't there ALWAYS a problem when you try out a new product?! Anyway, it seems as though he's having a hard time lighting the charcoal. I can't tell why because I don't dare go out there. But it SHOULD be easy enough, there is a gas ignition for Pete's sake!!! So I wait, and wait and wait. Finally after about a half hour/45 minutes I ask what the hold up is (we're all getting hungry and it's about 7pm at this point). He assures me that it will just be a few more minutes, there must be something wrong with the connection of the propane tank.

After about another 10 minutes or so, he asks me to go come outside to assist him. He wants ME to hold a match to the end of the ignition while he turns on the gas. WHAT?!?!? I'm scared, but he insists it's safe and I go ahead. Nothing. We. Get. Nothing. And then the following conversation took place:

Me: Jason, where did you get that tank? Maybe it isn't any good?
Jason: No, listen...(and he turns on the ignition)...you can hear the gas coming out.
ME: Yes, I hear somethig but I don't smell anything. We should be smelling at least a little gas. You've been trying to light this thing FOREVER!!!
Jason: Huh, you know, I bought this gauge to show how much gas is in the tank but its not working.

I immediately begin to laugh and he just kinda looks at me with that "WHAT?!?!" face.

Me: Jason, where did you get that tank again? Are you sure that it has gas in it? (as I'm walking over to the tank to read the label) Maybe what you're hearing is nothing more than AIR!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. The label clearly states, EMPTY propane tank ready for filling blah, blah blah. Its empty Jason, the fucking tank is empty! You've been out here for an hour trying to light a grill with an empty propane tank because you didn't READ the label! WOW!!!

We laugh. He says it was an honest mistake. I say it was STUPID mistake. I continue to tease. He got a little mad. I teased him some more. It was fun.

YES!!! It is a big deal!

Evidently the Swine Flu has hit our area. One 3rd grader from a local elementary school has tested positive for the virus after having been in Mexico for a vacation. Evidently the boy is (thankfully) home and recovering well. My issue is this. I babysit a boy who attends that school. I drive him to school everyday.Since I have a one year old baby at home as well as a 13 year old, I'd rather take the week off if you know what I mean. I received information from a local health department official and she said the incubation period is 7 days. I'm not interested in being around anyone who may have been exposed to this boy knowing that he was in school most of last week. I'm really not into taking my chances when it comes to the health of my family or myself. Is this selfish? I'd prefer we call it smart. My guess is that if one student has been diagnosed, more are to follow. The student I watch is a 1st grader who supposedly doesn't come into regular contact with 3rd graders, according to his mother who had a bit of an attitude when I informed her that I would NOT be keeping her son this week. I'm thinking, so what! They eat lunch in the same room, they use the same bathrooms, they touch the same hand rails, yes? And we all know that children are super good about washing their hands in order to keep from spreading nasty germs. Uh huh. Right. No thank you, I'll pass. I'm sorry that if the said mother feels that I'm being overprotective, maybe I am. I really don't care. I'm sure if the situation were reversed she would take the same precautions. Seriously, I doubt that anyone believes that this is one isolated case. I hope that it is, but it's probably not. Otherwise the World Health Orginization wouldn't be having such a hissy fit.

I'm Back!!!

Well, well, well. I have returned. I know. I know. It's about time. We had some serious technical issues, all of which have still not been resolved, but at least I'm back online. Ooohhh...that sounded nice, let me say it again. I'm back online. HURRAY!!!! I gotta tell ya, not being able to get on the Internet whenever I want to has truly made me realize how dependent I am on my computer. I really had no idea how often I used my computer. It may be time for me to begin therapy in order to restructure my life so that I will be better prepared for the next inevitable computer crash. Seriously.

Anyway...how about a feel good story to punctuate my return...

This post is being typed on my brand spankin' new laptop! It's quite nice and I love being mobile. However, I am worried that being able to take the Internet from room to room may enhance my Internet co-dependency issues. I shall deal with that later :) So, the new computer, aahhh, yes. This is how it came about...

Our PC crashed. It just quit functioning. Jason took it to his computer programmer friend who basically told us we're screwed after weeks and weeks of him trying to undo whatever invaded the machine. Then he informed us that our best bet would be to TRY and restore the entire system to factory settings. We're still waiting to hear if that is going to work or not. In the meantime, I'm whining about not having a computer daily. Finally I tell Jason we need to go out and purchase a new one, NOW, because the stress of being disconnected was beginning to weigh heavily on my life. And literally, as we were walking out the door to go to Best Buy determined to get something, the phone rang. The caller gave his greetings and asked if we got our computer fixed yet. When I said no he said, "Well, I bought you guys a computer. No questions asked!" I was speechless, holding back tears. I assured him that we could pay him for it and he said absolutely not. He told me that so many people have done things to help him out and it is nice for him to, in turn, be able to help someone else. The only stipulation...we are not allowed to tell anyone in the family what he has done for us because it would cause far too much drama. And who needs/wants that!?!? So what could we say other than thanks!? It is nice to know that there are still good people in the world, really. And its feels good to have been involved in this random act of kindness. And you know what else, he said if we get our computer back and decide we don't want or need that laptop to just give it to someone who can use it, to just pay it forward. Now isn't that a nice story? I'm really excited to be able to share it with everyone.

And with that, I'M BACK! So Nance, you can take me off the hiatus list!!!

out 'til...who knows!

My computer died. Supposedly its being fixed as I type this quick post from my sister's house. I feel so disconnected. It's been a few weeks since it went on the fritz. I now know, and hate, how much I rely on technology for so many different aspects of my life. This really sucks. Hope to be back soon.